It all came together for me this morning. I have been in an odd place this summer. I couldn't really get a grip on myself long enough to enjoy things. Not that this summer hasn't been fun, I have just felt very different. I had one of those, I'm sure this is significant feelings all summer long. That tends to be a heavy burden to carry. You can't anticipate everyday being significant without triple checking everything. So it got tiring and annoying and I decided that I was going to ignore it and live my summer despite omnipresent significance.
But I discovered the significance as I was getting dressed this morning. I am, it cannot be ignored, at the end of a stage in my life.
This is the end of my before. My very distinct and drawn out before. But this summer a lot of changes have been made. I am comfortable with things about myself this summer that it has taken me twenty years to learn. I have come to terms with things that have happened to me and that I am who God has made me.
And that is the end of my before. I have no question that in one month's time when I get on a plane I will be able to say that I am staring my after in the face.
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