Thoughts in the first person,

I don't frequently study. Part of me believes it is unfair to expect students to prepare for an exam which will test their knowledge of a subject they will forget soon after. I would love to see students tested for what they have acquired, through doing their homework and listening in lectures. I know there is no way to do this, and I know that tests will continue exist.

Really, all I am trying to say is I don't frequently study. I prefer to go into exams with whatever knowledge I have. Its all very nerve-racking and exciting, and its worked out for me okay over the years. I could have done better, but I did just fine.

I don't frequently study.

For the past five hours I've been studying for my History of Islam exam which shall commence in 9 hours. Five hours isn't unheard of, I know, but remember that I don't frequently study.

This studying has lead to acquiring more knowledge on this subject than I had ever prepared for. Its like living in a loft apartment and suddenly coming into the possession of a sectional couch. Just where the hell are you supposed to put the thing, know what I'm saying?

This knowledge has lead to thoughts, and those thoughts lead to emotions. I have a sudden birds-eye view of an issue. Okay, maybe not a birds-eye view, but I'm sort of standing on a fence. I can see for farther than I expected. Look at this big beautiful topic that's around us!

Then suddenly it occurs to me, no one knows about most of this. Listen, I am not saying that I think we should all go out and read the books and solve the worlds problems. I am not so ignorant as to believe that is possible. What I am saying is something unexpected.

I just had a sudden vision of going home and talking to my parents about some of it. I wanted to show them, LOOK you're confused! I could compose a power point! I could hand out index cards!

But then I remembered why it is I get depressed on my breaks - because my parents don't care. Then I thought, when was the last time I saw my parents riled up about an issue. The sad answer is that it has been awhile. As far as I can see, they don't think about things the way I do. They aren't excited about shocking facts which are literally just scattered around waiting to be picked up and collected. They'll just shrug, and then give me the face I hate. The face which is them telling me, you're too young to understand. Don't you know, they say, we've been through school and we've seen it all.

So this is my new fear. Am I being ignorant and too young? Is it just my parents or is this an epidemic in all of the adult human race? Is it inevitable? Am I just being young?

No answers.