I am feeling so restless. It's probably because I don't have any strong ties right now. Or maybe its because I have been so 'wanderful' over the past year and I can't exactly climax back to the way life once was.
The island has been interesting. As always I am shocked by how much I actually love being here. But it hasn't been as deep and tingly as it usually is. The island has been like an old shirt I missed while I was at school. I love so many things like the fact that "the island" sounds so wonderful on my tongue.
Its been a comfort because lately the future has been this huge oppressive enemy that marches on without any sense of compassion. But the island is always here, and the island will always be home. Its been good that no one is around to keep me company. Because one day, as we all follow the different paths we have, there may not be anyone around to keep me company.
A friend of mine said recently that it is a distinctly beautiful luxury to drive around in your own car and listen to your own music and be completely indulgently yourself.
The island will always allow me to do this. I don't need anyone in my car with me to do this. On the streets that I know. Plus, summer will always be coming, and with summer comes the heavy air that your air conditioner whines to cool and the crickets that sing to our souls in August.
I'm not even saying that the island is where my path will eventually take me, in fact I'd place bets that it won't. But my path can always intersect it, and it will always carry with it that which I can't find anywhere else.
I guess the point is, I didn't find comfort for my future in my present like I thought I would. I found it in my past.
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