Lessons,

Sometimes, when I'm just standing in an open space, my thoughts don't really have anything to bounce against and they get far to wide and wandering. And then something occurs to me.

I realized something. "Baby Christians" tend to expect a lot of pats on the back. And sometimes I think God gives it to them. I also don't think this is a bad thing.

However, as we get older God gives us a bit more rein. And sometimes when we say, "I am willing to wait" it actually means we're going to wait. It doesn't mean God is going to be so proud of you for saying it, that you will get whatever it was you wanted immediately.

And sometimes the waiting could take a very long time. I'm in the process of waiting right now. I feel like some days I send up really optimistic little prayers to God to show him just how okay I am with it. But its one of those, "Look at me, God. Not only am I tortured over this, I'M SMILING AT THE SAME TIME! Hey, maybe my present is around the corner," prayers.

That's not what God wants. I think something what would make Him happier is for us to be unhappily waiting as long as we were honest with him about how it made us feel. But then again, I can't say for sure. I do know that even being unhappily waiting, God hasn't caved and given in. But maybe that's the whole point.