On Battles

To the Institution,

I call myself a Christian. I have called myself a Christian since February of my first year in high school. That's who I was for four years. I had no problems being described by adults as: modest, well-behaved, polite, responsible, mature, dedicated.

For four years that's who I was. The youth leader. The friend every parent liked. The girl every mother wanted their son to date, but no boys cared for. I was the friend, the listener, the maternal one. It's hard not to become lost in an image so consuming, but I embraced it. I was one of the few teens who had found her niche. I ran with it. I knew exactly who I was. God had placed me where I needed to be and I was making a difference. One day at a time, I was saving the world I knew it.

Then you happened INSTITUTION. Who do you think you are?

Everyday I wake up and I am faced with a billboard that screams, YOU THINK YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON! LET US SHOW YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE! What I thought was going to be a place of rest and growth turned into the biggest spiritual battle yet. Where could my niche be here, where every person was the same as me only bigger and stronger and best of all- conservative.

Because the difference between me and you: I came from somewhere. How can a butterfly (which came from a caterpillar) compete with a butterfly that has always been a butterfly. Sure, my past isn't as shining as my present, but do I get no points for cleaning up my mess?

I am proud of the decisions I have made. I've climbed out of my cocoon, and all your have done is pretend it doesn't exist. Or, if on that day your acknowledging that it does exist, than you feel so terrible for the people who need to climb out. While I KNOW if you had one of them flying free with you, all you could do is judge them for where they had been.

So that is what I have to say to you INSTITUTION. But just like I have made decisions before, I will make the decision to use this to further me. You can tell me I'm wrong, but I can tell me I'm right. I don't know where I'm going, but I know where I've been. The past wasn't so great, my present inspiring. The future can only be brighter.

Yours,
WickedWitty