I wants to write a book,

Here's how my story goes. I am sitting at my dining room table, which just for descriptive purposes doesn't have a tablecloth on it. The television is on to my right, and poker or some crap is on because it is three AM and all I can think is BOOK BOOK I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK.

Because I DO. If the average person spends tens years of their life on the toilet, I have spent far more than that with my nose in a book. I think it was Joan Didion who said something along the lines of, " When I am near the end of a book I need to sleep in the same room as it." I know exactly how that feels. There is a feeling of literally wanting to lean forward and fall into the binding of whatever story you’re involved in.

Then when you read that final paragraph with bated breath there is always a sense of I want to write a story as beautiful as this one.

But the thing is, I think I can. I know it would be hard, and I know I would probably get frustrated and give up a few times, but God has given me a few good tools. For one, I have an out of control imagination. I also have a fairly decent vocabulary and I know I can string all those words together pretty well.

Oh yeah, I've gots a lot of opinions.

I just, I also have this feeling of not now and just a bit longer. Does that make any type of human sense? Are novels like cakes that you put in the oven and need to wait for? Scary thought- Are they also like cakes in that if you leave them in the oven too long they'll burn?

SO HOW CAN ONE POSSIBLY KNOW? Are there characters inside me who have been growing with me? Is there a girl who remembers exactly what it was like to be in 4th grade with braces and a mother who picked out all of your clothes? Has she grown up with me and is just waiting until she has enough energy to rip out of me?

Are there landscapes inside me which have developed with each crying jag, and each laughing fit.

I just want to write. So because it is three AM and I have nothing else to write, I will write this blog entry about wanting to write.

Does this post make any human sense?